by Jeanne Vattuone Stay on Your Side of the Street!?! No way! Let’s get a Fence instead! Stay on Your Side of the Street! Ever heard this phrase? “Stay on your side of the street” is a popular phrase in addiction recovery. It means that family members of the addict are to have boundaries and stay separate from the addict’s recovery journey. It encourages the idea that the addict is responsible for their own addiction and recovery work and loved ones are to not get overly involved in the process. For couples where there is sex addiction and betrayal trauma […]
Using A Partner Sensitive Approach with SA’s and Partners (APSATS Betrayal Recovery Radio) Timothy D. Stein, LMFT, CSAT-S, CCPS August 30, 2018 Carol the Coach will be interviewing Tim Stein MFT, CSAT, CCPS who has made it his mission to deal with the aftermath of sexual addiction by using a partner sensitive approach. He will be discussing the benefits to sex addicts, the betrayed partners and the relationships of incorportating a partner sensitive approach into the sex addict’s individual and group therapy work. Using a Partner Sensitive Approach (Link to Podcast)
Partners and Sexual Trauma with Carol the Coach on Betrayal Recovery Radio Jeanne Vattuone, LCSW, CSAT-S, CCPS-S August 16, 2018 There is a growing awareness, research and appropriate treatment modalities about the traumatic impact of learning of a loved one’s addiction, However, there is a distinct absence of research seeking more information about the sexual impact of the addiction on the partner’s sexual experience. Carol the Coach is interviewing Jeanne Vattuone who will be helping us understand sexual trauma and how this effects partners and how they can heal from it. Partners and Sexual Trauma (Link to Podcast)
When Can We Work on Our Relationship with Carol the Coach (APSATS Betrayal Recovery Radio) Jeanne Vattuone, LCSW, CSAT-S, CCPS-S July 19, 2018 Things have changed and what we know at APSATS is that once an addict is in good recovery, we need to start working on the early fundamentals of couples work to help the partner feel safe. Listen as Jeanne Vattuone talks about the principles of working with the coupleship after discovery, recovery, and disclosure. When Can We Work On Our Relationship (Link to Podcast)
Thought for the Week Timothy D. Stein, MFT, CSAT December 31, 2018 I am an asymptote. An asymptote is a mathematical term for a curve that continually gets closer to a line but never reaches it. In recovery, we are asymptotes. The longer we stay sober, the easier it is to remain sober, but the addictive urges will never completely go away. The longer we work on recovery balance, the easier it is to maintain moderation in all things, but the pull of addiction patterns will never completely go away. The longer we are rigorously honest, the easier it is […]
Thought for the Week Timothy D. Stein, MFT, CSAT December 27, 2018 “Simple but not easy.” –unknown A sobriety program is simple. Tell your sponsor and others who support you in recovery everything. Follow their guidance in all things. Reach out to others as soon as you realize you are struggling. Connect with members of your recovery community every day. Turn your life over to something larger than you. Learn to love and value yourself and your sobriety. Do these things and you will find sobriety. An effective sobriety program is simple but not easy. When have I given up because […]
Thought for the Week Timothy D. Stein, MFT, CSAT December 17, 2018 Vacuum under the car mats. There is superficial change and real change. You can wash the outside of the car but not touch the inside. It looks clean until you open the door. You can superficially clean the inside of the car but it is still not really clean. True clean is cleaning even where other people don’t normally look, like under the car mats where the hidden grime lurks. Recovery is the same. We can make changes that look good on the surface such as being honest […]
Thought for the Week Timothy D. Stein, MFT, CSAT December 10, 2018 “The art of apology is an expression of the gift of responsibility.” –Wendy Behary Responsibility and a true apology are interlinked. Saying you’re sorry without accepting responsibility for your part is nothing more than a smoke screen. In 12-step programs, an apology or amends is focused on responsibility. It is common to make amends for our actions and their impacts on individuals whom we believe (sometimes rightly so) have harmed us just as much as or possibly more than we have harmed them. None the less, the focus […]
Thought for the Week Timothy D. Stein, MFT, CSAT December 3, 2018 “The art of self-disclosure is an expression of the gift of courage.” –Wendy Behary Self-disclosure is not easy. It brings the possibility of judgement and rejection. It is also the only way to find true love and acceptance. Effective self-disclosure is an expression of courage; the ability to do something that frightens you. When we are frightened, stopping is not the answer. Neither is denying the fear and running forward, throwing caution to the wind. Courage allows us to self-disclose with awareness of both the risks and the […]
Thought for the Week Timothy D. Stein, MFT, CSAT November 26, 2018 Kintsukuroi Kintsukuroi is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with precious metals. A piece of pottery repaired or put back together with precious metal is considered to be more beautiful than the original, and the repaired cracks become stronger than the original ceramic. Relationships in recovery from sex addiction can benefit from this idea. Your relationship has been damaged and that cannot be changed. However, the work you do to heal and repair your relationship can make it stronger and more beautiful. Have I accepted the damage […]